Kneejerk Thoughts on TF2’s Uber Update (Day 4)

24 Jun

It’s here! I’ll be waiting a bit until everyone else gets their hands on the plethora of gleaming toys this update introduces, so I don’t end up following one guy around a server trying to observe his gear’s effects. Besides, it gives people a chance to get bored with the stuff I want, allowing me to swoop in and offer them an obscenely fair trade. Regardless, in the interests of continuity, here’s what I think of today’s reveals.

Meet The Medic

Okay, yes, this is excellent. There’s nothing in it that tingles the spine like the end of Meet The Sniper, and the Spy’s video is longer, but this is exactly what I wanted: the iconic personalities of each class riffing off each other, topped off with a slick action sequence. I loved Meet The Spy for showing the team interacting with other on a funnier and more meaningful level than trading gunfire, and this is more of the same. The Spy’s fridge cameo is wonderful, and the sight of the Demoman furiously rolling his wheelchair had me in stitches. But it’s the relationship between the Medic and the Heavy that shines through here; it’s probably the closest thing TF2 has to a buddy cop partnership, and the fact that they demonstrate this with a brilliantly melodramatic display of the sheer might of an Ubercharge means I can pretty much forgive the flaws of any of the new unlockables that this video will now be associated with. Bravo.

The Clinical Trial

The Quick-Fix: No denying that I’m sad over the loss of overhealing – many Soldiers and Demos rely on it for ridiculous round-start jumps, and it’s often the only thing that keeps the haste-challenged Heavy alive. There are, however, a lot of carrots to this one stick; faster heal rates, faster Ubercharge buildup and the ability to keep up with Scouts you’re healing. Even as a career Medigunner, it’d be silly to not at least give it a testing period. It sounds much, much more fun than the Kritzkrieg, at any rate.

The Solemn Vow: Amusing, but useless. If there’s an enemy nearby, and I’ve got no-one to train a buffing beam on, I’m not going to waste time pulling a statue out to calculate roughly how many needles I’ll have to put into him; I’ll either start putting needles into him, or run the hell away. It might have applications for spotting – picking out weak targets then relaying them to your damage-dealing classes, but even then time spent pointing a lump of marble at someone is time spent not healing.

The Overdose: Sorry Valve, but if you wanted me to play with new syringe gun replacements you shouldn’t have made the Blutsauger. A speed increase for the second-fastest class (and one that’s reliant on being able to build an Uber without dying at that) isn’t enough to draw me away from the Blut’s vampiric health-sapping projectiles, let alone compensate for a damage reduction for the Medic’s only offensive ranged weapon.


That’s all folks, it’s been fun. Still…poor Engineer.


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