Crate expectations

23 Nov

I challenge anyone who owns or plays Team Fortress 2 to claim they have worse luck with Mann Co. Supply Crates than myself. Because it’s not true, you massive liar, you.

This bastard, right here.


My relationship with these hateful wooden boxes is one of constant deceit, betrayal, disappointment and greed. And yet I still come back almost every time, the list of possible loot attached to each box – usually at least half of which are rare hats or paint – too alluring to stop me splashing two of my finest English pounds on god-damned keys to unlock them. It’s not unlike heroin, really. If you think about.

So far – out of about five crates – I have one new weapon I didn’t have before, no hats, three duplicates of crap I already owned (only one of which could be considered fairly ‘new’), and a name tag. Name tags are actually pretty rare, so this might sound okay, except I had bought a name tag two minutes prior while I was shopping for keys – and I really only wanted one, for specific weapon. I take this as proof that there is a God, and that for some reason he hates me on a deeply personal level. Not even christening my Degreaser ‘Felicia’ would cheer me up.

To conclude: there’s nothing in any of these crates that couldn’t be distributed with the random drop system directly, rather than the more tiresome method of having a crate drop and letting it rot in your inventory while you muster up the will to splash out on a key. And then unwrapping something with a high likelihood to be shit. The whole business smacks of a cynical money-grab, holding elusive toys hostage to microtransactions, and I can scarcely believe the company behind it is Valve, High Elders of Giving Away Crazy Amounts Of Free Stuff. It’s a dreadful ploy, and the worst part? I’ve fallen for it hook, line and sinker.




One Response to “Crate expectations”


  1. Entire team is microeconomists « The Talking Stove - April 5, 2011

    […] faced with a locked crate which didn’t contain a single item I already owned, I broke my months-long box abstinence and forked over for a key. I was hoping for a variant rocket launcher. I got an […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: