On shopping centre lock-ins

6 Oct

Earlier I witnessed the most peculiar thing I’ve seen since going to Big Person School – St. David’s, the biggest shopping complex in Wales, closing its doors to everyone who isn’t a student, not booting them out until well after the standard closing hours. Before we were allowed in we were ID’d, hand-stamped, assigned a wristband and had to give them our contact details. Was this a mall or a prison with a food court?

Inside, Student Colditz was bizarre. It isn’t usually this busy even when such selective entry requirements aren’t in place. The result was a remake of Dawn of the Dead where the zombie virus only infects those that shop at Jack Wills. Despite the widespread 20% discounts I didn’t buy anything, though I repeatedly looked over at the beastly queue for Nando’s in ever-increasing sorrow. God-damned scenester zombies.

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