Engineer Update Released, Stumpy Arms Up 80,000%

9 Jul

I’m usually asleep by the time this update went live, and was doing a decent job hanging in there, but eventually caved when the download started – something in the area of 550MB, if memory serves. To put that into perspective, Deus Ex, is a decade-old but incredibly lengthy single player game, and that’s only 720MB. I woke up to servers full of bulbous shields, adorable baby sentries and mechanical prosthetic hands.

That’s because the dropping of the hundredth wrench revealed The Gunslinger, which literally cuts off your right hand and replaces it with an Asda Smartprice version of the Power Fist from Fallout 3. Besides killing people by repeatedly punching them, repairing buildings by repeatedly punching them (?) and splaying the fingers and revving it up for a messy taunt attack (!?), it almost instantaneously drops fun-sized versions of the standard level 1 sentry.It’s  a dinky little number, but even with half the damage output it’s perfect for offensive engies who would rather chuck a quick, cheap turret down to cover the rest of the team rather than babysit a levelled-up camp miles away from the action.

I’ll do some in-depth stuff on the unlocks over the next couple of days –  I’ve already got everything but the knuckle-duster wrench, but at the moment most servers are farcical battlegrounds where laser-guided sentries engage in ineffectual long-range tickling, their robot-fisted masters replacing their ammo belts with right hooks. A funny sight, perhaps (as long as their don’t turn the designator on you), but not a great environment for testing the new gear’s capabilities. Here’s a hint, though: guitars are lethal.

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