Dispensers and the required placing thereof

6 Jul

A decades-old feud between two warring brothers. A mystical tool with the Midas touch. A short, bald man from Texas. And most likely some new Steam achievements. Welcome to Engy Week on The Talking Stove!


To celebrate the first major Team Fortress 2 update for a class I actually like playing regularly since last year’s Sniper/Spy patch, every day this week you can expect updates, details and reactions to the revealing of the Engineer’s new kit, more general Engy posts, videos, lightly amusing screenshots and probably at least one song.

What do we have so far? There’s an epic, beautifully drawn thirteen-page comic that provides a wonderfully offbeat explanation for the endless struggle between RED and BLU. Secondly, a few lucky players have received an ultra-rare Golden Wrench through the game’s crafting system. Not only is more information about the update released with every 25 wrenches found (we’re on 43 at the moment, so there might be something later today), but the items themselves have the magical and hilarious property of turning killed enemies into wibbly golden statues.Whilst every new wrench find brings a fresh twinge of anticipation, the mental image of a million spanner-hungry TF2 fans bent over the crafting screen in the hope of grabbing one – a likelihood I’m guessing is along the lines of the shark eating you after your plane crashed in the sea being struck by lightning – isn’t a happy one. Couldn’t they have just been random drops?

However, the big news is the unveiling of a gorgeous new shotgun replacement. The Frontier Justice accumulates critical hits with every kill and assist your sentry gun makes, then presumably gives you the power to use them once the gun’s destroyed. (At least I think that’s what it does – the wording and switch between “revenge” and “bonus” crits is a bit ambiguous.) The cost? It only holds three shells instead of the standard six. It’s an odd tradeoff – having to reload all the time is the worst part of using the shotgun with any class, though presumably the fact that you can easily rack up crits with a sentry means you can simply shoot less. It’ll be interesting to see whether you have a choice when to deploy the crits (with secondary fire, for instance) or if your first shots after the sentry dies are boosted automatically. I’m hoping for the latter – crits on demand is something I disagree with unless you have to work for them, like with the Medic’s Kritzkrieg. And most of my deaths as an Engy are caused by my being in the middle of the charging, angry, maybe Ubered gaggle of enemies that have ganged up to take my sentry down – maybe unleashing some critical shotgun blasts as my baby is destroyed  will at least give me a chance to escape, even if my dispenser and teleporter exit meet a similarly awful fate. Sniff.

The Engineer Update goes live on Thursday – only a few days before my assumptions and reservations are proved to be misguided and wrong! Engy Week, it’s gonna be great!

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