Why everyone is wrong except me

8 Sep

In Team Fortress 2, as you play you will sometimes randomly ‘find’ an unlockable weapon or, much more rarely, a hat.

These hats do bugger all. They don’t improve performance or affect gameplay in any way, and since it’s an FPS you can’t even see it unless you taunt or are killed. And yet, they pop up so infrequently that people are willing to use third-party apps that simulate them sitting idly in a server for up to days, in the hope that they’ll be dropped a hat.

At least, that’s what people used to do. Valve made the uncharacteristically straight-faced decision to take away from the idlers every item they found whilst using it. Whoops! On top of that, everyone who didn’t use it got a hat of their own – a halo. Naturally, this caused a whingefest of such magnitude I literally felt my seat shake. It wasn’t much, a bit of a dull vibration, but still.

Picture 1: How Steam forum users reacted

Picture 1: How Steam forum users reacted

What is it with Valve? I don’t think any other developer in existence is both so critically acclaimed and loathed by people claiming to be fans. Actually, what is it with Valve’s fans? Here are some real-life grievances they have with the company:

“I need to use the idler because running TF2 would take up more system resources”.

Using up system resources…jesus. So Valve was wrong to remove items you received by fraudlently clocking up server hours, which you did to get items for a game, a game you don’t want to run because it uses power from your computer?

“Their customer service is straight up tyrannical, and it disgusts me”

This came not from a Steam forum thread, as did the rest of this bile, but from here – a site I’ve never read, inexplicably linked in the comments of a mostly unrelated blog post by the brilliant Tom Francis. I wish I hadn’t clicked it now.

To date, Valve have released uncountable numbers of new maps, weapons, items, game modes, animated movies and fixes, and haven’t charged you one fucking penny. They offered players the chance to get involved with the creation of new weapons prior to the Heavy update, they ask for feedback, and they provide a service for instantly reporting bugs, a system I haven’t seen in a single other game. Real tyrannical.

Picture 2: Something less painful than reading the Steam forum

Picture 2: Something less painful than reading the Steam forum

“Valve is punishing the only people who really care about this game!”

This makes so little sense (and is a bit too general) I don’t want to dwell on it too much, though I’d quite like to know how much someone cares about a game if they seek out applications designed purely so that you don’t have to play the game.

“It should have been a knife in the back for all idlers based on valves treatment of us.”

‘Rincewind01’ politely suggests an alternative to the halo. Rincewind01 is a cunt.

What I find most baffling about this sordid mess is not how the people who didn’t get a halo think they were going to get away with it, or how they think they actually deserved the items that were removed (they literally did nothing) but why the halo is so desirable in the first place. The entire point of lusting after the hats is because they’re so rare – I’ve been playing regularly since May (when the hats were first introduced, and even after a whole bunch more were released last month I still don’t have one. If everyone who didn’t use the idler wears a halo -and this is something like over 90% of active TF2ers – then why bother? It doesn’t have the single aspect of hats that made them special in any way, and kicking up this much of a fuss over them serves little purpose other than to make gamers look like whinging, over-entitled twats.

Oh, yeah.

Picture 3: Something I'd rather have happen to me than continuing writing this post

Picture 3: Something I'd rather have happen to me than continuing writing this post

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