Can I borrow £23,400?

14 Jul

I want to advertise something on the London buses.

I’m struggling to think who wins in the case of the atheist bus adverts. The Pope probably isn’t losing sleep, and I always thought the point of an advertisement was to sell something, and who rejects belief in God on the grounds that they saw an advert on the bus. To be fair, the advert itself doesn’t break the sacred LAWS OF ADVERTISING STANDARDS OF ADVERTISING LAW – the ASA states “marketers must hold documentary evidence to prove all claims”, and saying something “probably” is or isn’t true doesn’t really count as a statement of fact. But besides them not going full evangelical and only slightly snobby, this just seems like the most expensive experiment in dick-waving ever.

£23,400? For that you could get the materials to build a giant hinge, stick a twelve-foot rubber dong on it and push it back and forth in front of the nearest church and it would still give the same  message (and the same amount of new converts). At least it won’t make the stupendously dumb (I’ll need to ask a religious person if it could be actually found offensive, mind) assertion that people who believe in God spend all the free and work time “worrying”, refusing to come out their bedroom because, as a theist, they’re physically incapable of fun and those hand-wringing pantomime villain priests and vicars won’t let them “enjoy life”, unlike those ultra-rad atheists who can mountain bike down hills made of chocolate ice cream whilst listening to classic rock music on their iPhones. Economic recession? Don’t worry, you irrational idiot – go A!

Congratulations, British Humanist Association, for backing a campaign that makes me think less of you. Especially Hanne Stinson, whose patronising guffawing was considerably more annoying than anything Christian Voice have said on the matter, and you know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re more annoying than Christian Voice. I’m quite concerned actually, since I would consider myself a humanist (if we’re using dictionary.com’s definition) – does this mean, somehow, I’m in tenuous cahoots with the likes of this unbearably smug woman? Because that would suck. It’s certainly got me a bit worried.

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